Salvation Vs Stigma - Walking In God's Grace
Social acceptance is a comfort many may take for granted. However when you have been labeled as I have as a person who struggles with mental illness there arises a great discomfort as those who love you or maybe even perfect strangers become aware of your label and what they think they know about the subject. As a person who has experienced some successes in life first as a television news anchor for several years and once as an attempted law student whose illness left me short of the J.D., persons didn't' see me as the "type" who would struggle from mental illness. Some may have a mental picture of a screaming person full of foul language who's busting out car windows when they think of the word "Bipolar". Truth is persons from every walk of life can struggle with this illness and many go undiagnosed.
PRAY IT AWAY WHY DON'T YOU
What has been steadfast in my efforts to understand my disease process, are my questions to God. Knowing that some people deal with stress better than others, many of my fellow Christians and church members have advised me to just "give it to God". In some instances the suggestion would furiate me, because it implies a distant relationship with Jesus or a lack of faith. In my own estimation my faith was stronger than a lot of the people whose advice I was graciously nodding away. After all I hadn't committed suicide after having bouts of deep waves of depression and actually being able to feel the evil in certain people and environments. I bridled myself with strength that wasn't my own in so many circumstances when people in my family and small community thought it was okay to address my illness with little tact or diplomacy. Thank GOD for medicine! After stabilizing on meds I realized I could keep my mind focused on obtaining spiritual strength and relationship with Jesus because I wasn't as chemically imbalanced. I have asked God so many times why the public shame and embarrassment, why the label, why the stigma? It's those questions that led me to a deeper study of God's word and an answer for the trials we go through.
What has been steadfast in my efforts to understand my disease process, are my questions to God. Knowing that some people deal with stress better than others, many of my fellow Christians and church members have advised me to just "give it to God". In some instances the suggestion would furiate me, because it implies a distant relationship with Jesus or a lack of faith. In my own estimation my faith was stronger than a lot of the people whose advice I was graciously nodding away. After all I hadn't committed suicide after having bouts of deep waves of depression and actually being able to feel the evil in certain people and environments. I bridled myself with strength that wasn't my own in so many circumstances when people in my family and small community thought it was okay to address my illness with little tact or diplomacy. Thank GOD for medicine! After stabilizing on meds I realized I could keep my mind focused on obtaining spiritual strength and relationship with Jesus because I wasn't as chemically imbalanced. I have asked God so many times why the public shame and embarrassment, why the label, why the stigma? It's those questions that led me to a deeper study of God's word and an answer for the trials we go through.
WARRING WITH THE WORD
My stabilization and recovery took a turn for the better when I realized I didn't have to choose between God and the medicine. I wasn't less of a Christian because I was compliant to the medicine my doctors had prescribed. Now that I am stable I am chemically balanced enough in my brain to receive the word of God meditate on it and apply it to my life. One of the most adored scriptures I've found since asking God why me came from Psalm 26:2 Test me Lord and try me examine my heart and my mind. My mental illness has been the thing that has brought me in closer conversation with God. I use prayer everyday to protect myself before meeting people for the day. I also pray that nothing no one has said throughout the day that may have been bitter or hurtful stay in my heart before I go to bed at night. Prayer has also taught me that many people are suffering from similar emotions, pains, and struggles and its only God's grace that has kept them from needing medication to deal with those issues. I'm not as fortunate. My faith journey right now requires God and medicine and I am not ashamed of that. In fact my purpose may be to help someone who desperately needs meds to balance them chemically to stay on their meds.
My stabilization and recovery took a turn for the better when I realized I didn't have to choose between God and the medicine. I wasn't less of a Christian because I was compliant to the medicine my doctors had prescribed. Now that I am stable I am chemically balanced enough in my brain to receive the word of God meditate on it and apply it to my life. One of the most adored scriptures I've found since asking God why me came from Psalm 26:2 Test me Lord and try me examine my heart and my mind. My mental illness has been the thing that has brought me in closer conversation with God. I use prayer everyday to protect myself before meeting people for the day. I also pray that nothing no one has said throughout the day that may have been bitter or hurtful stay in my heart before I go to bed at night. Prayer has also taught me that many people are suffering from similar emotions, pains, and struggles and its only God's grace that has kept them from needing medication to deal with those issues. I'm not as fortunate. My faith journey right now requires God and medicine and I am not ashamed of that. In fact my purpose may be to help someone who desperately needs meds to balance them chemically to stay on their meds.
However God wants to use this experience to benefit his kingdom is perfectly okay with me. I'm just glad to be alive to tell someone hurting, raging, or crying uncontrollably there is peace. As a result of my positive choice to both pray and take medicine I am now able to become less offended when dealing with the public and their opinions concerning my illness. Casual conversations throughout the day leave me less irritated. If your journey to peace includes steps that will involve the medical community as well as the faith community, be wise. Access both and know that God uses people to bless others. I hope this short article blessed you in some way.
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